Through The Bible in a Year - September 25, 2026

“For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior… Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” - Ephesians 5:23, 25

When Paul says the husband is the head of the wife, he is writing into a Roman culture where a husband’s authority was absolute and frequently abusive. A Roman husband could do as he pleased—take advantage any way he wanted, demand whatever he wished, use his wife and children as instruments of his own satisfaction.

Yet, Paul does not deny a husband’s authority in the home. Instead, he radically redefines it.

The example Paul gives for husbands to follow is not Caesar. It is Christ. Paul reminds us what Christ does with His authority? He empties Himself of privilege. He takes the form of a servant. He gives Himself up in sacrificial care. He uses His authority for the benefit and blessing of others, not for His own advantage.

That Christlikeness is what Paul is calling husbands to express in their role as the head of a family. Such headship is not the absence of leadership, but leadership exercised for the wellbeing of another. Headship is not a couch-potato pass—“I’m head, so I don’t have to do anything.” It’s not a crown—“I’m king, so everyone serves me.” Biblical headship is the specific, costly, Christ-shaped use of whatever authority and influence a husband has for the flourishing of his wife and family.

Reflect: Philippians 2:6-8 describes what such headship looks like in the example of Christ: “Though he was in the form of God, he did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking the form of a servant… he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

Equality with God—the ultimate privilege—was not grasped. Instead: Jesus emptied himself of personal privilege. He became a servant. He humbled himself for the sake of others, becoming obedient to that calling unto death.

Through Jesus, we understand the radical nature of Biblical headship, not the absence of authority but the complete reorientation of it—away from self, toward another.

Dr. J. Robertson McQuilkin was president of a prestigious seminary when his wife Muriel began to show signs of Alzheimer’s. She would walk the half-mile to his office ten times a day just to be near him. One evening he removed her shoes and found her feet bleeding. As he washed her feet, he realized a similar Christlike duty to which he was being called. He resigned his presidency to care for his wife. People were astounded. He was confused by their amazement. He said, “It is what Christ did, and called me to do as I follow him.”

Respond: Where is God calling you to relinquish something—a preference, a comfort, a convenience, a privilege—for the flourishing of your wife or family?

This week, consider identifying one specific way your leadership at home can be more about furthering your spouse’s wellbeing.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, You had all authority and You used it entirely for others. Forgive me for treating my headship as a privilege to be enjoyed rather than a calling to be fulfilled through service to the wellbeing of another. Help me lead the way You led—not by asserting my privileges but by relinquishing them for the sake of my wife and family. In Your name, Amen.