Through The Bible in a Year - September 28, 2026

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church… that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.” - Ephesians 5:26-28

What is the goal of Christ’s headship over the church? To make her radiant. To present her to Himself in splendor—without spot or wrinkle, holy and without blemish.

He is not exploiting the church. He is not simply dominating her. He is working, actively, to bring out her full glory—to cleanse, to sanctify, to make beautiful everything that sin and brokenness have obscured.

The Apostle Paul takes this example of Christ’s blessing and says: husbands, do the same for your wives. Your goal as the head of your home is not to be served. It is to make your spouse radiant. To fill her heart with such a sense of the grace of God—through the way you treat her—that she knows her own splendor before God.

When she looks in the mirror of your love, does she see herself as God sees her: precious, treasured, without blemish? Or does she see some diminished version of herself that comparison and criticism have created?

A missionary wife wrote these devastating words about her husband after years of his domineering behavior that he had justified as Biblical headship: “I hate him for the way he made me feel about myself, a non-person, a slave, I could never do enough to please him.” The husband, of course, believed that the Bible had given him the right to act as he did by granting him the position of “head” of the home. He had the title. He had the authority. But he used it to strip away his wife’s radiance rather than to help it shine more brightly.

My story of causing my wife to feel incapable of calling a repairman after only one year of marriage—despite being an outstanding musician, scholar, and leader—shows how quickly and subtly a husband can obscure his wife’s radiance if her blessing is not his goal.

The conclusion of that story is that Kathy later taught herself to order parts and to fix the washing machine herself. After I repented and corrected my behaviors, she regained confidence in the brilliant mind and exceptional competence God had instilled in her. I am constantly challenged to remember the moral of that experience: when a husband creates the conditions for his wife’s gifts to flourish both are blessed.

Respond: Husbands: when your wife looks in the mirror of your love, what does she see? Does she see herself as more capable, more treasured, more expressive of God’s gifts than when you married her? Or less?

This week, let’s all find one specific way to affirm our spouse’s competence, significance, or giftedness. Name something that you may have taken for granted and, instead, offer praise for that feature or talent or gift of care that will cause it to flourish even more.

Prayer: Father, Your goal for Christ’s bride is that she would be radiant—without spot or wrinkle, presented to You in splendor. You sent Jesus to bring out that radiance in me. Give me that same goal for my wife. Help me to create the conditions in which she flourishes, where her gifts are celebrated, where her confidence grows, where she knows she is treasured by You because of the way she is treasured by me. Make her radiant through the way I love her. In Jesus’ name, Amen.