Through The Bible in a Year - October 1, 2026

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right... Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” - Ephesians 6:1, 4

It is tempting to want the Bible to be a parenting manual — a checklist we can tape to the refrigerator and mark off day by day. If we just do A and B, we assume, we will get C: a cooperative, godly, well-adjusted child. But Ephesians gives us only four verses on parenting, tucked at the end of a letter that has spent chapter after chapter seems to describe something else entirely: the love of God the Father for the children of God.

That proportion is instructive. Before Paul ever tells us how to raise a child, he spends the bulk of his letter grounding us in gospel-grounded relationships — first with the Lord, then with those in the church, then within marriage. Only after that foundation is laid does he turn, briefly, to parents and children. The pattern is first a healthy relationship with the Lord, then responsibilities with others reflecting that relationship, then instructions for family care. Instructions are not a checklist in a manual but a responsive reflection of our relationship with our Savior.

When our children inevitably act like sinners — because they are — our responses inevitably expose our own spiritual understanding and health. Our responses may not simply reflect concern for our children but anger generated by our own idols: control, reputation, the sense that we deserve a child who reflects well on us because we followed the rules. Scripture will not let us build a family on that foundation. It insists we build on something that is at the same moment sturdier and more sensitive – concern for the realities of the gospel to be grasped by the children gifted to us for spiritual care.

RESPOND: Where have you been looking for a checklist instead of cultivating a relationship — with God, your spouse, or with your child?

Name one "idol" (control, reputation, a certain outcome) that tends to surface when your child disappoints or disobeys you.

Now, not only ask, "What should I do differently?" ask "How is my relationship with the Lord serving as foundation affecting the actions and reactions of my parenting?"

PRAYER: Father, I confess how often I have wanted a formula for parenting instead of focusing on reflecting the heart you have expressed for me. Forgive me for the times I have measured my worth — or my child's — by performance instead of resting on or reflecting Your unconditional love. Please help me build the foundation of my family on relationships that reflect Christ’s care more than reacting to my concerns for my reputation, expectations, or pride. Help me to love as Jesus has loved me. In Jesus' name, amen.